Saturday, May 12, 2012

Mom Enough

By now we've all seen the Time magazine cover. The sight of a grown boy breastfeeding did not offend me; I myself breastfed and am not bothered by seeing those images. I truly think that breastfeeding does need to be more normalized in our society.

Did I think it was an accurate representation of what breastfeeding really looks like? No. However, I guess I would rather young women see breastfeeding glamorized, such was the young lady wearing skinny jeans, flats, perfectly coiffed and beautifully made up. (As opposed to how I often breastfed, with dirty clothes, hair, and dozing because it was the one quiet moment I was afforded. Not glamorous, but definitely real.)

I digress. There was something about the cover of the magazine that bothered me. It was the title:

"Are You Mom Enough?"

I haven't read the article, so I won't pretend to know what it says, although I do know it talks about attachment parenting and Dr. Sears as the leading doctor who supports it.

Attachment parenting doesn't bother me, nor does Dr. Sears.

But that title, man, that bothered me. It angered me.

Once again, it pitted mothers against mothers, waging another battle in the Mommy Wars about who is a better parent. It is from these Mommy Wars that lead women to feel so much guilt about simply not feeling as good as another mom because her parenting choices are different.

I guilted myself for an entire year about not being a SAHM, convincing myself that I was doing my son a disservice, that I was simply a subpar mother. Forget the fact that my income helps us keep a roof over our heads, clothes on our back and food in our bellies, I felt as if I should forgo these necessities and find a way to make it work as a SAHM.

Through much reflection, I realized that I am the perfect mother for Toph. I am exactly what he needs and exactly what he wants. I work. He goes to daycare, where he is flourishing. I go to work, where I am challenged daily and where I am flourishing. I come home exhausted, but happy.

I AM mom enough for Toph.

And let me tell you something, fellow mamas.

You are mom enough too.

If you are feeling any shred of guilt over any part of mommyhood, say it aloud, with me.

You ARE mom enough.

I leave you with an article I read this morning. It was as if the author reached into my heart and typed the words that were written inside it.

Feel no guilt as we head into Mother's Day and know that you are mom enough.

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Nebuchudnessar said...

Thank you for your post.
I wish mothering wasn't such an apparent competition.

Diane and Chad said...

awesome article...thanks for sharing!!