Monday, July 11, 2011

I'm That Mom

Click here to read my "rockin' the bump" post.

I'm that mom...

the mom whose baby was beautifully jaundiced.

the mom so ridden with anxiety over the jaundice she couldn't sleep.

the mom who would suffer from random bouts of crying.

the mom who refused to go out into public with the baby those first two weeks.

I'm that mom...

the mom who wouldn't let herself sleep that first week home with the babe.

the mom who was scared to give her baby a bath.

the mom who thought the doctors were going to take her baby away because his jaundice wasn't going away.

the mom who felt guilty when she laid the baby down to go to the bathroom or have a bite to eat.

I'm that mom...

the mom who made it sound like peaches and cream on her blog.

the mom who wasn't honest with herself.

the mom who just refused to believe she was suffering from PPD.

I'm that mom...

the mom who sobbed uncontrollably the first day taking him to daycare.

the mom who thought she was a terrible mother because she worked outside the home.

the mom who would pump in the dark at work while crying.

I'm that mom...

the mom who made it through to the other side.

the mom who believes that she is an awesome mom.

the mom who can see that working outside the home is necessary.

the mom who knows you don't have to be a SAHM to be a good mom.

the mom who sees the benefit of daycare.

the mom who realizes in retrospect that she was suffering from PPD and that it's completely okay.

I'm the mom who...

loves her baby so, incredibly much.  A love so big it fills the sky.

Who's with me?

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Chrissy @ Boerman Ramblings said...

thanks for your honesty! you are a great mom!

Galit Breen said...

Beautiful words, beautiful photos, beautiful truths. Pure lovely!

Shell said...

So, so sweet. And honest.

Becoming a mama is HARD.

Love the pics!

Brittney said...

wow what a beautiful post!! Love it!
He is so cute :)

k_skenes said...

I am! One of the blessings of daycare that I NEVER thought to appreciate: my kids now have the BEST immune systems. They are never sick. Thank you, daycare!

I bet you can't wait for #2, right? Getting to do it over, knowing what you know now? It's awesome.

Leighannn said...

i too am that mom.
the mom who suffered silently with PPD because i didn't understand what was wrong.
i lost sleep, cried, was confused, and closed myself off from family.
But eventually I got help.
I went back to work.
I stopped feeling guilty.
and I'm a better mom for it.

Anonymous said...

Rough stuff, this mama gig. Gotta do it your way though!

He's a cutie!

Brittany W. said...

I'm that mom too. I'm now following you via GFC from the Monkey Hop Monday!

Bri @ Ramblings of a Southern Mama

LisaWeidknecht said...

Excellent post! And as a nationally accredited home daycare provider, I know how hard it is to leave a child in someone else's care. I also know how wonderful an experience it can be for the child.

ginger @ literally inspired said...

I just think you are wonderful and I love you girl! I love your posts when you are real and honest. It is an inspiration :)

JDaniel4's Mom said...

What a wonderful post! Of all the things you were the things are now are the most important.

Nicole said...

Great post! I already feel guilty that I can't be a SAHM and so much of what I read is one side or the other - either SAHMs who think their way is best or working moms who knew from day one that they wanted to continue to work. I felt left out since I'm the middle - wish I could stay home but realize that is just not what is going to be best for our family.

Thanks for sharing. Sometime facebook and blog land only show the happy days and it's hard to relate to sunshine and unicorns every single day!

Roxanne said...

THANK YOU for sharing this.

That's all I can say without making myself cry while I'm at work. Just...thank you.

dosweatthesmallstuff said...

This is such an honest, poignant, heartfelt post... Thanks for sharing this with us.

I too suffered from postpartum depression following the birth of my daughter 6.5 years ago. It went on for 5 months before I was diagnosed and put into medications. Your words, so beautifully written, described the nature of PPD and my own experience with it perfectly.

You've shown that painful as it had been, you came out of the experience a winner. And I'm here to confirm that. You are a GREAT mom! Many people don't realize how much guilt non-SAHM mothers have over leaving their children in the care of others... silently beating themselves up for not being a better mother who spends more time with their children.

My mother was not a SAHM. She was a career woman who worked from morning til late at night. My father divorced her when I was three, and since then she had supported me single-handedly until I finished college. It wasn't easy for either of us, but I'm here to tell all the mothers who are non-SAHM to not ever worry about not being a good enough mom, because eventually, like me, your children would know how much you love them. My mother was never home, but all of that paid at the end. I thanked her for EVERYTHING she did for me, and I would never have achieved what I have without her hard work.

An amazing post that sheds light on PPD and gives hope to those who are experiencing it.

MamaRobinJ said...

I'm that mom too, PPD and all. Great way to share your story and your pictures of your baby :)

amy cherie said...

I'm your newest follower.

That was beautiful, you aren't a mom your a super hero :D <3

Amanda said...

That is honest and beautiful! I think we all try to make things sound better than they are so we aren't judged. There I are times that I do. I'm actually trying harder not to do that because it's through the rough times that we need the most support and there are tons of other moms out there who have been through what we are going through. I love the pictures! You have a beautiful son!

ashley @ little miss momma said...

what an amazing and touching post! Your honesty inspires us all. It is so important to acknowledge that motherhood isnt all rainbows and butterflies. You are a beautiful and amazing momma! xoxo, ashley

Jessica said...

This was an excellent post and so honest.

Love all the pictures.

Rach (DonutsMama) said...

Gin, you expressed this so beautifully. I'm glad you recognized what's going on. I'm going through this myself as you know. We'll get through it together. You are a lovely mom, I'm sure.

Eve said...

You are amazing. This post was wonderful, heartfelt and honest. Per usual, I can completely relate. I too was that mom. PPD, crying fits and all that jazz.

It's great to blog and know that we're not alone. I started blogging when Handsome was 4 months. I was smack in the middle of PPD and after connecting with other moms via blogging, the clouds parted and I was back to feeling like myself again. We get through it. We do it together. Because we're moms. It's how we roll.

finallyMom said...

what an incredibly beautiful post! and your baby??? ack the cuteness! :)

Elena said...

That was so honest and beautiful! So glad you made it to the other side. :)

ShontaeB said...

awwww. You are an awesome mom :)
Great post.

Sandra said...

This was so authentic. And that baby! Come on, how effin beautiful is that baby!

Sharde said...

love your honesty gin :)

ooooooh and i have been MEANING to tell you. that texas necklace is from James Avery. I'm pretty sure they still sell it. and i actually just bought the charm and put it on a chain from walmart to be honest. :) im still waiting on your guest post, mama!

the style projects

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

Ugh, I want to give Before You just this huge hug! To have gone through that alone and so frightened! Clearly you're doing everything great b/c you guys look awesome!