Tuesday, July 12, 2011

How Blogging Has Changed Both Motherhood and Me {Guest Post by the Babby Mama}

Today I am super excited to introduce the Babby Mama, mama to the Babby and author of the blog I Know How is Babby Formed. She is also author of a real live book called:. iDo: Planning Your Wedding with Nothing But 'Net .  You guys, a real live published author, here on my blog! I'm giddy.

Being a mama is a thankless job… or is it? Mamas lose themselves in motherhood… or do they? Once upon a time, maybe, when there was no one cheering a mama's efforts on.

Clean the loo? No one sees it. Cook a gourmet meal? It's inhaled so fast no one tastes it. (If they even eat it, in the case of picky toddlers.) Go to work every day to support your family? The cheers aren't there, and in their place there may even be criticism from family or even strangers. Get your kids out of the house on time and the best you get is a "Doesn't everyone?"

And yet I still don't think motherhood is a thankless job. Not nowadays. Do note that I'm not suggesting that husbands or partners and kids or strangers are suddenly thanking mamas everywhere for everything we do. That the world is suddenly extra supportive of working moms. That motherhood is on the pedestal it ought to be on. Nope! It's still pretty unlikely that anyone is going to spontaneously notice that you cleaned the kitchen today.

So who's cheering mothers on? WE are. The other mothers. We're online and we're blogging, and with some minor exceptions, WE are the ones who say things like "You managed to get your kids out of the house on time today? Go you!" and "That you even found the time to cook dinner instead of ordering pizza is amazing" and "By working, you're showing your daughter that she can be anything she wants to be and that's great" and "Woman, you do SO much!"

Blogging, I think, has changed motherhood for the better. So what if no one at home necessarily notices that we haven't quit doing all of the little things that keep a household happy and running smoothly? (And just how fast do they notice when we take a break and don't do one little, jeez?) Our online besties are there, whether it's attention we're after or friends or commiseration or advice or even a little cheerleading. Because everyone deserves some applause for successfully crossing off all those little tasks that make up the mega to-do list that is motherhood.

It's mamas who are doing the applauding.

As for how blogging has changed me, that's where aforementioned attention comes in. Before I became a mama, I had a lot more time for things that might earn me some praise. Writing fiction comes to mind, and submitting it to tiny literary journals who'd then publish it in tiny magazines I'd never actually see. Painting. Dancing, which for me means tap. Dorky, I know, but once I was even in a rock band! And how can I be in a rock band when I am exhausted by 10 p.m.? How can I tap when the very sound scares my toddler?

Besides being an amazing way to meet other mamas, blogging has been a way to get back out from under my rock to a place where I can at least open up and share what I'm doing with other people. And you know, said people – by which I mean all the other mamas – have responded in very positive ways. Hearing some of that applause again has lifted me up and inspired me to try new things and reclaim a little bit of the person I was before so I'm not just a mama, but also me again. I think blogging is helping most of us mamas do that.

And how can that NOT be awesome? I know a lot of people put down the "mommy bloggers" but with everything I've said above, I think the mark it's made on motherhood has been nothing but beautiful.


I love the Babby Mama and I know you love her now too. Check her blog out and say hi.
Christa, thank you so much for posting! I am truly honored.

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ShontaeB said...

absolutely love this post. Agree 100% with everything she said. I will surely head over to her blog to check it out. Thanks :)

Sandra said...

I with Shontae, this post is perfect. And yeah, what's with putting the mommy bloggers down? You know, before getting into the crux of the post, I was thinking, "My husband comes home and says, What have you done today?" But my bloggy friends are like, "You've baked a cake! You're awesome!" We should get to marry each other.

Jessica said...

Blogging is great way for moms, especially SAHM, to connect with and build relationships with other moms. It gives that sense that we are not alone in our journey. Great post.