The Time My Sister Got Chased by a Goose

This is Mollye.

She's my sister and one time, she got chased by a goose.  I wish it could say it scarred her for life; sadly, I am the one with the emotional baggage after witnessing this event.

It was 1998.  I was 15, she was 13. We were finishing up a picnic lunch of fast food outside.  We were seated in a picturesque park located next to a river.  As we were finishing, a tall white goose came nosing around our table.

I was gone in a flash.  I can tolerate a duck from afar but I have no love for geese and their short tempers.  I waited in the car, watching to see what would happen.

My sister approached the goose, who had his neck out waiting for a tasty French fry treat.

Something went wrong, I don't know what.  But that goose lowered his neck so that it was parallel to the ground, puffed his wings out and charged my sister like a raging bull.

(This is the part where I googled images of angry geese and was so freaked out by looking at them that I decided not to put something so ugly on my blog.)

Mollye threw the entire contents of her fries on the ground and literally ran out of her flip flops to avoid the bird's wrath.

From the car, I screamed, "RUN, MOLLYE, RUN! HE'S GAINING ON YOU!!"

I looked like this:

Source:http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/screaming+gif

She got to the car in record time and when my mom got in too, they proceeded to laugh.  Thought the whole thing was funny.

I still don't think it's funny.  No love for geese, thank you very much.

Linking up here:

Do NOT Scold Me in Joann

Dear Meddling Lady in Joanne who thought my child was being ignored,

First of all, how could you?  Don't you realize that Joann is my happy place?  I have no idea how to use 75% of  the things in the store, but I love to meander through the aisles and look.  I often get lost but it's okay.  Time stands still in Joann.

When it was time to check out, you were in front of me and noticed my oh-so-precious baby boy.  He probably proffered you a smile and probably pointed at something in your basket, always a conversation starter. 

I didn't notice you noticing him because I was checking my phone.  I had posted an on the fly bump post on my blog and people loved it.  I felt special and had to respond to everyone right away.

But my kid was not running around, he was not acting a fool.  He was sitting nicely in his stroller, playing with his new book (only $1 folks and it's cute) and basking in your attention.  You see, Meddling Lady, one of the things he inherited from me was his love of attention.  One day he'll grow up and be a blogger as well, I'm sure of it.

So, when he took his sippy cup out of the cupholder and accidentally bumped his chin, it was because he was looking at you and not paying attention to the task at hand.  He's 15 months old and not quite a multitasker.  You'll forgive him that, I'm sure.

You gasped like he had fallen on a bed of nails, which shook me from my reverie.  I looked at my child, slurping his water from the sippy and said, "Good job bud!" 

The thing is, he was doing a good job.  He's recently mastered the art of drinking through a straw, and this is a big deal.  The sippy has a straw and he was going to town on it.  When I told him good job, I meant it.  I wasn't just vacantly praising my child.

But when you, Meddling Lady, decided to get stank with me and tell me that he had just hit his chin with the cup and "I saw the whole thing because I was looking at him," it made me want to...do a lot of things I have deemed inappropriate upon becoming a mother. 

I didn't do any of those things.  I made the comment of how he's easy to look at because he's so cute and that I deduced he was okay given the lack of tears and mark on his chin.  Lucky for everyone involved, it was then your turn in line, and you gave my son one last apologetic look (seriously, lady?) and turned around to pay for your stuff.

M'kay, let's just get one thing straight here.  Please, scold me if my child is a) crying, b) dirty, c) sad, d) covered with bumps.  On the flip side, kindly throw the stank tone out the window if my child is a) smiling b)happy c) clean, d) curious or e) ALL OF THE ABOVE.

Toph was all of the above and is always all of the above.

Source: babybrewing.com via Ginny on Pinterest

Thank you kindly and may we never cross paths at Joann again,
gin

Top Ten List of Summer -Time Don'ts

Summer is here y'all. Can you feel it? Of course you can, it's already a million degrees outside. Yesterday, I played basketball with my students at noon in 102 degree heat. I smoked them all in knockout, then I got heatstroke. That's a don't. As in, don't play basketball with 8 year-olds at noon in 102 degree weather.

Here's nine more:
 9. Don't sequester yourself indoors due to the heat. Nothing is worse than when your house feels like an air-conditioned prison. Get out and about!

I swear I will buck up the courage to leave you when it's 104 degrees.

8. Don't forget sunscreen. For all members of the family, not just the baby.

Yes Kimmy, your pretty face needs sunscreen too.

 

{via}

7. Don't forget to hydrate. Dehydration is not pretty. Water, Gatorade, repeat. Lots of yummy fruit.

6. Don't eat to pass the time because you're bored from being inside from the heat. See #9. I fell victim to this one every summer when I was in school. Always gained a solid 7 pounds.

I have a penchant for wedding cake.

5. Don't be skurred to sweat. It's summer. You'll get boob sweat. There is no way to avoid it. Sweat is cleansing. Embrace it.  {And maybe don't wear grey.}

4. Don't forget to wear deodorant. And don't think you can get away with wearing your husband's if you run out {as I may have first hand knowledge}. It is NOT pH balanced for you.

This is how you feel when you have deodorant on. 

{via}

3. Don't avoid the pool because you don't like your post baby body. You better work girl; be it in a bikini or a one piece.

Me; four months post partum; squinty eyed and all.

2. Don't fall victim to the tube. Craft! Write! Read! Daytime TV is yucky anyway.

1. Don't forget that fall will be here again before you know it; so cling to these hot summer days full of watermelon, rest, rejuvenation and sweat.

Toph on a lovely summer evening last year;  he was 3 months old.