How to Tell if Your Child is the Next Big Thing in Modern Art

We're all looking to make a buck off our kid. Today, I share a checklist of characteristics on how to tell if your child is the next modern art sensation.

Does he take off all his clothes to perfect his craft?

Check.

Does he use unconventional methods to transfer the paint to canvas?

Check.

Does he pace the canvas back and forth?

Check.

Is he unafraid of getting dirty?

Check.

Does he have precious feet?

Check.

Is he unhindered by things like staying on the canvas?

Check.

Does he use a lot of paint?

Check.

Does he look over his work with a yawn of satisfaction, knowing that this piece will be the next masterpiece featured at the Met?

Check.

If you answered yes to seven out of the eight questions above, you just might have the next big thing to hit the modern art scene.

The Second Day of 2012

The second day of our new year was our last day of winter vacation. We had such a wonderful and relaxing break that I wanted to make our last day count. The bummer was that Matt had to work that day, so it was just going to be me and my Toph.

I planned a full day for us. We were to get his second haircut, go ride the train around Brackenridge Park (a new favorite of m'boy) and go to the zoo. We were also planning to eat at the zoo, something we normally don't do. This was a special day.

We played in our new kitchen for a bit:

Then, we got the new haircut:

and headed to the train station.

Do you see the unadulterated excitement in that kid's eyes? He was so excited to be on his train (my choo choo, he calls it).

After the train, we ate a bite at the overpriced zoo diner.

It was all good because Toph got a super cool tiger sippy cup with a bendy straw.

There are not many pics of us in the zoo because I didn't realize how hard outings like that are without a second parent to point and click. I got one while we were walking:

and a couple in the kids' area:

I swear he's not a blur in real life; I can't seem to get him to be still for pictures.


A new development from this zoo trip: if Toph sees an animal he likes, he reaches his hand out and says, "Pet it!" He wanted to pet the wild African dogs, the okapi, the grizzly bear and the ostrich. In all honestly, he has a better chance of petting the grizzly than the ostrich and that's a fact. I abhor those birds.

We had a blast at the zoo, even though we were sans daddy. Toph was asleep before we were out of the parking lot and stayed asleep an hour after we got home.

I was able to sit on the floor and read magazines, so I was thrilled for the moment of quiet.

Matt came home soon thereafter and I couldn't help but tell him of the fun times we had. We had a lovely family dinner (meatball subs) and soon, it was time for Toph's bathtime. I had just settled in to do some pinning while thinking what a perfect day it had been.

Then, I heard a loud thump. I head Matt say, "Topher!" loudly. I heard my son's shaking wails. I ran to the bathroom and found blood everywhere, pouring copiously from my sons chin and seemingly, from his mouth. I snatched him away from Matt (who was thoroughly freaked out) and ran to sit down with him. I wanted to get a look at what we were dealing with.

I ordered Matt to get a bag of ice while I examined the source of the blood. Toph had slipped in the tub while Matt was reaching to grab his towel to dry him off. His chin slammed against the edge of the tub and had split it wide open. Toph was scared. He was bleeding. Our perfect day seemed very far away.

After a few minutes of bleeding and crying, we were able to get a good look at the wound. It wasn't too deep, but it was wide and we couldn't close it. We could also see the subcutaneous fat below the skin which we knew meant one thing. Stitches.

We went to the emergency room in our community and saw a sign that said "4 hour wait." That would have put us with a doctor at roughly midnight. No thank you. We went to a second ER meant just for children and when we walked through the doors, our hearts sank. The waiting room was stuffed to the gills with sick little babies. We had no choice but to wait.

Wait we did, for three hours. What made up for it were the fabulous nurses who took care of Toph, doctored his wound and numbed it to get it ready for stitches. At around 10:30 we were called back and Toph got four stitches.

He didn't cry, he didn't fuss, he just laid there and let the sweet PA sew him up. He was awesome. He got his first ever popsicle for being so good.

 We arrived home just as the third day of our new year was starting. We were exhausted but thankful. We laid our wounded warrior on his bed and he fell fast asleep. I ran through the day's events through my head and honestly, there is not one thing I would change about it.

What happened that day is the stuff that life is made of. Good and bad. Happy and sad, excitement and worry. In the end, it turned out perfectly. Just the way it was supposed to.

Being Topher's Mama

When I was growing up, I wasn't around many babies. The one I was around a bit was my "baby" cousin Sarah, who is now 20.

I thought Sarah was the sweetest baby and when we would have to say goodbye to her and my aunt and uncle I would think, "Man, Uncle Paul and Aunt Lauren are so lucky because they get to be around her ALL the time."

This thought would cross my mind at various points of my life when I encountered other sweet babies, but that was the first time I had such a thought.

I think about my nine year old self and I still relate to her. Now, however, I look at my own sweet Topher and I think, "Man, we are so lucky because we get to be around him ALL the time."

Being Topher's mama has been the sweetest part of my life. I have never smiled as much, never have I laughed as much and never have I felt such pride. It's a wonderful thing, being his mama.

Here's what he's been up to lately:

• He refers to our cats as Memmy (Merry) and Peepee (Pippen). They're also mows (/mou/). He calls himself "Toter."  Yes, it's as cute as it sounds.

• He uses the potty every single time he sits on it.  And he cheers as he's going.

• He sings songs.  He loves his ABCs, Old MacDonald, Skinnamarinky Dinky Doo, The Wheels on the Bus and EVERY Raffi song out there.  The child is a musical being.  He also cheers when a song is over.

• He can definitively say YES to questions.  He can say no too and does so very well.

•  He has the uncanny ability to climb on things that seem impossible to climb.

• He would be happy as a clam if I let him eat cheese for every single meal for the rest of his life, but he also loves blueberry jam toast and honey crisp apples.

•  The slide at the park is his very favorite thing.  At most parks, he can climb up by himself and go down by himself.

• He makes monumental messes in a very short amount of time. 

• Sometimes Mama and Daddy help him make said messes.

• He is beginning to imaginatively play.  Many times I see him with his little elephant and tiger and he is in his own little world with them.

• He loves to wear mama's shoes.

• He likes to play a game where he shouts, "BEE!" and laughs as Matt acts like there is a bee buzzing his head.  They seriously play it over and over and over, the giggling more and more hysterical.

• He knows yellow and purple and can distinguish them.  He also can "count." I use that term loosely because he will touch pictures on a page and "count," starting with one but then making up numbers after that.

• He loves to read his books and I believe his favorites are the Little Pookie series by Sandra Boynton.  

• He make his animal noises accurately.  My favorite is when he oinks.

• He loves animals but he did NOT like his lion costume that we wanted him to wear for Halloween.  So much so that he had a meltdown and Mama and Daddy thought it would be best if Topher just handed out candy dressed as a little boy about to go to bed.  (We didn't take him trick or treating this year; he doesn't eat processed sugar so it's kind of like, what's the point?)

•  He gives random kisses.  Let me tell you, you will never be the same after your son reaches up and kisses you for no reason other than he loves you.

Being Topher's mama is so, so sweet.

Good Oral Hygiene

We start good oral hygiene habits early round these parts.  No sense in waiting.

Someone really enjoys a good tooth brushing session.

He also really enjoys his new big boy toothbrush.

We get our toothbrush wet.

We put soap toothpaste on it.

We scrub. We look serious because, let's face it.  This is serious business.

We pause to smile at daddy because he is hilarious.

We rinse.

We repeat.

Rule Breakers

Traveling with a toddler. Have you ever done it?

I'm a first timer and I'm here to tell you that it's not the easiest thing to do. In fact, I'll tell you right here and now that I think it's difficult.

It's especially difficult for people like me because my son and I thrive on routine. On the same faces and places. A vacation, while it sounds nice in theory, is the antithesis of the life we lead at home. At home there is a schedule, structure and Toph has got it down so well that he can predict what is coming next.

When things become unpredictable for a toddler, certain family-imposed rules fall by the wayside. In fact, we've become downright rule breakers. Here are some of the rules we have broken during our vacation:

1. Walking around with food. We have no high chair here and our laps just aren't as appealing as some of the other things going on in our host's home. Therefore, Toph gets to walk around with his food from time to time, simply because I'd rather him eat than not eat and sit on our lap.

2. Unabashed pacifier usage. We were really trying to cut down on the pacifier, but all these new stimuli can be too much for him, therefore, since the pacifier makes him feel better, the pacifier he gets.

3. Complete disregard of the bed-time routine. At home, we have a system. Dinner, music and dance party, bath time, book time, nurse time, sleep time. It's a science and the kid has it down. On vacation, we haven't been able to do all those things ever and very seldom has Toph gotten to bed on time.

4. Co-sleeping. When we finally have gotten Toph to sleep, he'll normally sleep until 2:30 and then he'll start to cry. I learned within the first couple of nights that he'll go back to bed quickly if he gets to nurse while laying next to me. I also learned that if I put him back in his crib he will wake up again for round 2, then round 3 and then I start to wonder if I have a newborn. However, if he stays in bed with me, he will go to sleep and stay there until 7am. You win, Toph.

5. Reverting to on-demand nursing at night. Yeah, we haven't done this in months and months. However, if it means a little extra sleep for the both of us, sure Toph, nurse away.

I am not sure how difficult it will be to try and get back in our routine at home. Initially, I was very guilty about breaking all of these rules until I realized...I'm the one who imposed them in the first place. We're on vacation! Things will be different on vacation...it's time to chill out and realize a couple of things:

Is Toph happy?
Is Toph safe?
Is Toph fed?
Is Toph having a good time?

Yes to all the above. So yeah, we're breaking some rules. But we're not breaking any laws and Toph is having a blast meeting new people and seeing new things.

Note to self: chill out and enjoy yourself.

Why Say No When It Feels So Good To Say Yes?

First order of business: name the movie from where the title comes.

Second order of business: let's talk about the word no. 

Toph has recently started saying no.  He will accompany it with a head shake to prove his point.  Many times during our day, we will have conversations that go like this:

M: Can mama have a kiss?
T: No.
(This one is painful.  Already saying no to a kiss? I thought I had a few more years.)

M: Eat more green beans, Toph.
T:  No.

M:  Come here so mama can put your shoes on.
T:  No.

M:  Toph, what sound does a dog make?
T:  No.

M:  Let's wash hands, Toph.
T: No.

M:  Time for a diaper change.
T:  No.

M:  It's time to nurse, Toph.
T:  No.
(And then he'll proceed to nurse.)

We've got the word no down flat.  He tells the cats no too and I learned today that he'll tell dogs no.  While I like that he's verbalizing and even using nonverbal cues, such as the head shaking, this no business is driving me nuts.

I got to thinking though; is the word no really that bad?  I mean, we're the ones who taught him that word.   These days he's into everything and most everything he does while he's exploring warrants the word no.

When he first started saying the word no, I felt extremely guilty.  Oh, we must not let him do anything; we're repressing his spirit and being mean.

Then I thought, bull.  The kid needs limits.  He needs to know what is and is not okay to play with.  He needs to know that the dishwasher is not an okay thing to climb on.  "No" is the word we use when we tell people something is not okay; a word we use when we are setting boundaries.

While him telling us no will drive me up a tree, I'm glad he's asserting himself.  It's the first step in raising a child who can develop his own opinions.  While he will not always get his way and while I will have the final say, I've decided him telling me no isn't the worst thing in the world.  If we have to have a million conversations on why we ARE going to do something, that's okay.

Don't trip because I know some of you are.  He will know that mama and daddy are people to whom you don't speak the word no.  He will know that when his teacher tells him to do something, he does it.  No in the form of obstinance will not be tolerated.

He will be taught to respect, he will know to listen and he will know that adults are people you normally say yes to.  However, no can be a powerful word and we will teach him how to use it correctly.

Yes, my son will explore with the word no.  He will learn when he can and cannot say it.  I will not raise a yes-man but I will also not raise a no-no.  It's a fine line and it's one we will be balancing for years to come.