Embarrassing Things I Said to My Personal Trainer

Source: shape.com via Ginny on Pinterest

I've recently started working out in a gym again after a three year hiatus.

I don't know if y'all know this, but after such a long break, I found I could really only do two things successfully at the gym: run on the track and stare at others.

On a side note: did you know that there is a "no staring" rule at my gym? Another thing about gyms that have changed. I used to be able to stare at people in peace and now I'm breaking a rule.

I wanted to appear "hip" and "with it" at the gym, so I talked to a personal trainer. Here are a few of the embarrassing things I said to him during the course of our 30 minutes together.

1. When asked about my workout history, I kind of hemmed and hawed and then said, "Well, I guess I'll need to start in July of 2009 when I found out I was pregnant and catch you up to speed."

2. "When did they make the staring rule?"

3. "I should probably go to the bathroom before jumping rope."

4. "What can I do to make my stomach seem not so baggy?"

5.  "Who put a tractor tire in the middle of the floor?"

6. "Has anyone ever farted while doing this?"

7. "I personally think you need to find a way to punish people who don't wipe the sweat up after themselves. Maybe rub someone else's sweat all over them."

8. "No, I'm pretty sure breastfeeding is the best way to lose weight."

9. "You want me to do WHAT with that tractor tire? You must be up out of your mind."

Needless to say, neither of us are too stoked for our next session.