(This is not yesterday's Halloween shot. Not even close.)
Alright y'all. Upon my third year of handing out treats to the little ghouls and goblins in my hood, as well as some full grown adults not wearing costumes (seriously?), I thought of some unspoken Halloween rules everyone should abide by.
1. If you are a full grown adult, it's not trick or treating. It's begging for free candy. Feel free to dress up for parties or for fun, but trick or treating is out past the age of 14.
2. If you are a parent pushing an infant in a stroller, it's obvious that your child has not yet entered a stage of life in which he or she can eat the candy being passed out. Therefore, trick or treating on their behalf is really just you, begging for candy. I urge you to see rule number one.
3. Halloween starts anytime between 6:00pm and 6:30pm. It ends between 8:30 and 8:45. If my light is off, I've retired for the evening.
4. Don't look inside someone's home and tell them that you like their stuff. Especially if you are grown and in a scary costume with dreadlocks. It freaks people out.
5. Parents: don't tell me you don't know the rule of checking your children's candy before they eat it. Seriously check it. And when your kids act like they want to reach into their bags while they're still walking around and check for Snickers, I urge you to slap their hand away and tell them to wait until you get home. In a mean voice. I saw so many kids munching on candy while they were walking around.
6. Be courteous: trick or treat, thank you, and happy Halloween are all necessary conversational devices.
What are your unspoken Halloween rules?
This is this year's Halloween picture. More on our Cowardly Lion later.