Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Ten Things You Should Never Ask Your Spouse

I haven't blogged in awhile.  You know what I have been doing?  My daily regimen of asking my husband completely off the wall questions.  Since I am well versed in the spousal questioning strategy, I thought I'd share a few questions you should NEVER ask your spouse.  Upon asking these questions, you will be met with bewilderment, disgust, dismay, confusion and he might possibly walk away mumbling.

1.  Honey, will you go shopping with me?  I'm thinking cardigans, tights and riding boots.  Doesn't that sound fun?

2.  Babe, I think I have an ingrown hair in my armpit.  Will you check it?

3.  How short should I cut my hair? Halle Berry's hair is cute short.

4.  If I die young, will you read this book at my funeral? But not if I die old, in that case, read that other book I was telling you about.  Don't you remember that book?

5.  Am I acting like I'm about to start my period?

6.  Babe, will you please not lock the door when you go to the bathroom?  I might need to get in there at any time.

7.  Do you think Sofia Vergara's boobs are too big?

8.  Is it okay if I Mod Podge pictures directly to the wall?  I have a craft idea.

9.  Hon, my period IS about to start.  Will you bring home a gallon of ice cream, a tub of cream cheese and two Snickers bars?

10.  So honey.  Won't you be sad if it's really not an ingrown hair and it's actually a cancer lump but you wouldn't check it because you're too grossed out?  Why won't you check my armpit??

Linking to:
Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop


Courtney @ {not so homemade} said...

HA! This cracked me up! I'm not married but I could just see the strange looks my boyfriend would give me if I asked this stuff! Thanks for the laugh :)

TriGirl said...

Oh #3. My husband hates when I cut my hair short.

Sara said...


Cathy said...

Same here. Asking him to read a particular book guarantees he won't read it!

Flora said...

Hilarious!!! My boyfriend isn't easily grossed out, but I'd get some weird looks asking him to check out an ingrown hair in my armpit.

Tara said...

I think I read this on pinterest:
"Going shopping with your husband is like going hunting with the game warden" :)